As they say ‘to be forewarned is to be forearmed’ so here are some red signs that you could be headed for break up street.
1. As the song goes “we don’t talk anymore”. Has communication broken down so that you have no clue what’s going on in their life and they have no idea what’s going on in yours? This one of the big red warning signs of a break up. If you are not sharing your daily cares and concerns then what are you sharing?
2. You don’t spend any significant time together. You have your life and they have theirs and your two lives cross only occasionally and usually when one of you needs something from the other. Ask yourself; when did you last spend any time together? What did you do? Need I say more?
3. You don’t really know each other’s close friends or family members. Who are your partners close friends? What do you know about them? Does your partner know your close friends and family well? If you are not sharing the key people in both your lives then your relationship is either very young or you don’t consider your partner important enough to bother letting them into your inner circle.
4. If you don’t include each other in conversations about the future. If you discuss your future then the conversations goes like.... ‘I see myself traveling a lot’ instead of ‘I see us traveling to Europe’ etc. Conversation tends to be an overflow from the thoughts and this is an indication that either you haven’t given your relationship much thought or you don’t see each other being a part of the future.
5. You don’t have an underlying friendship. Are you friends or just lovers? The overemphasis of sex in our society means that there are many relationships where couples have nothing in common except the sex. They cannot talk and laugh together and the glue from sex is not strong enough to build anything on. A few couples are able to navigate from sex to friendship but most couples are unable to make this jump. So what are you, friends of just lovers?
6. Disrespect is part of your relationship. Do you criticize each other all the time? Or does one or the other keep putting the other down? Do you both seek to meet each other’s needs or are you both just in it for what you can get? Do you treat each other with selfishness? If you do then this in one of those sure warning signs of a break up.
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7. One or both of you think that you could do better. If this is the prevailing attitude then you are in the relationship on standby mode waiting for someone better to come your way. Someone on standby mode tends to indulge in activities that promote what they want. They will want to go out to clubs and other such places, without you, so that they can get to meet the ‘one’ they have been waiting for. You will be the one fighting of other potential partners since they are still looking while you are happy with what you have. A standby partner will stay until someone ‘better’ comes. A recipe for a coming break up.
So do you see any of these traits in your relationship? If you do, you need to figure out what the problem is and either remedy it or prepare yourself for a break up.
